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News Archive

Home Brewed: The Sims: Bustin’ Out

The latest installment of EA Games "Sim God" series is set to be released mid-December. Even if the subject doesn’t appeal to you, it deals with a subject very close to many of our hearts: the shameless manipulation of the very lives and wills of others. I mean, that IS what marriage is for, isn’t it?

So what is it about this game that will distinguish it from all the other Sim games? Well, a new batch of items is sure to be included. And it’s to be expected; I mean, what household DOESN’T need a buffalo skin-coated coffee table?

More jobs will certainly be added. After all, I’ve always wanted to work as a golf caddy and work my way up to being a highly trained, highly paid, professional bum.

Maybe they changed the building tools? I mean, I always wanted Mt. Everest in my backyard. Maybe let me put a lake in the middle of my house? Or maybe they could fix the fact that items cannot be placed at an angle…or that my house is limited to two floors and no basement. It’s just a thought.

I got it! They could make it so we could visit other locations, like the beach or a ski resort! What’s that? It’s already been done? How about pets? Shopping? Dating? Celebrity status? Online play? Damn.

I could see some great potential in this series if they took advantage of the technology available. Instead of releasing a whole new game each time one of their developers has one of these "fantastic ideas," you do what the PC version does. Using the online capabilities of the Gamecube, make the new features downloadable to a memory card. Charge a fee for it of course (because the bottom line is all that seems to matter these days), but I could definitely see myself paying 20 bucks for all the new updates rather than 50-60 dollars for a few minor changes.

The innovation and zeal that was a trademark of these games at their advent is long gone. The only possible concept that The Sims has yet to cover is The Sims: Retirement Home. Just think, you could own a wheelchair, have dinner around four in the afternoon and go to sleep at seven, just to wake up the next day to a fascinating day of puzzles and bingo.

Or maybe they could develop Sim Prison. You go to work making license plates and earn cigarettes. Instead of a wedding, you have a commitment ceremony with “Bubba” and taking a shower does more than increase your hygiene.

This game is definitely on my "Must Miss" list. EA needs to stop this series, or at least change the title. The $im$: Ok, Now We’re Just Stealing Your Money.

marlow@wiicafe.com

 

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