I'm sure you all remember back when Rare made their surprising switch over to Microsoft. No, I'm not going to rant on how Microsoft is evil and that Rare are traitors (because, frankly, I like the Xbox and Rare's only truly good game was Goldeneye). Anyway, that day we all got to see a certain female video game character in a new light - Joanna Dark. Once a suave female James Bond - sexy, daring, and bad-ass - now a ditsy boob touting cheerleader with a gun. Why? For one reason: Sex appeal.
Not long after Rare's move to Microsoft, Capcom announced 5 brand new "exclusive" GameCube games directed at older audiences. The one that caught my eye the most was Product Number 3, a 3rd person action game along the lines of Devil May Cry. The reason for this is that we got to see a character much like Joanna Dark was before her little makeover. Vanessa Z. Schneider was the sexy, daring, and bad-ass Bond-like female character I've been wanting since Rare killed Joanna. This was a video game character, though attractive, wasn't created solely to make little 12 year old boys drool over some polygons. That is, until a few months after the initial announcement of the game, when Capcom suddenly released a new video of the game.
As soon as I found out a new video was released, I quickly downloaded it and, to my horror, found that Capcom had changed my gun touting female bond, into a ballerina with the ability to shoot lightning from her fingers. Instead of shooting robots with a wide arsenal of weaponry, she was electrifying them with quick dance moves and blue lightning. I could already tell that it was taking a turn for the worst. However, it wasn't until a few weeks after her spontaneous dance lessons that I really began to worry. You may remember this little image from not too long ago. It's a picture of Vanessa Z. Schneider in a black thong. It is now readily apparent that Capcom is turning her into just another female video game character meant to appeal to 12 year olds who don't know what a Playboy is.
I am seriously wondering why video game developers keep trying to make female video game characters more and more like figures from Playboy magazine. Acclaim has already proven that video game porn does NOT and will not sell, thanks to their enormously stupid, over-hyped, trailer park trash of a BMX game. My only theory is that the creators of such games are trying to emulate the success of Tomb Raider, home of the original buxom video game character by making their own characters' breasts bigger and bigger. Next thing you know, some company (**cough**Acclaim**cough**) will make a game with the main character literally nothing but a set of boobs floating and bouncing in the air.
When are developers going to learn that true gamers don't care if a video game character is hot or not? All we care about is that the game is fun, challenging, and original. They seriously need to stop listening to people like Gabe. If someone wants to look at nekid’ women with huge boobs, they'll buy a Playboy or the latest "Girls Gone Wild" tape.
However, the developers are not necessarily the people who piss me off the most. Worse yet are the sick freaks who take games like Tomb Raider, The Sims, DOAX Extreme Beach Volleyball, and other assorted titilating titles featuring women with large breasts and write nude patches for them. I'm not sure what is more disturbing, the fact that someone would make a patch to remove Lara Croft's clothes, the censor blur effect in The Sims, and the bikinis in DOAX (seriously, aren't they wearing little enough as it is), or the people who actually download and patch their games with them. It's people like this, and the developers who make games such as BMX XXX that ruin the public's view of video games from being fun ways to pass the time, to being a violent, sexist, perverse medium meant for horny 12 year olds who think they're mature.
Next time I go to buy a game like P.N.03, I don't want to be looked at as some stupid geek-boy who can't get a date (I SWEAR I'M NOT!) and must resort to video game porn thanks to some retarded video game company who thinks that boob shaped polygons sell. I for one, buy video games because they're fun, not because of the female main character. I have never met anyone who takes a look at the cover of a video game box and says, "Damn that chick is hot, I need to buy this because of her over-sized exaggerated knockers!" When will video game companies learn?
Matt Schraeder
